How to Open Up
Having a sexual fantasy that isn’t commonly shared amongst the masses can be quite a difficult thing. You may feel as though that you’re unable talk about your desires because you’re afraid that your peers will make fun of you. The truth is, we all have sexual fetishes; sure, some may be considered to be more extreme than others, but none of us are without our kinks. Telling your partner/ lover about your sexual fantasies isn’t always easy, especially if you’re a little bit on the shy side. Today we’re going to give you a few quick tips that’ll help you to tell your lover about the things that turn you on in the bedroom without the fear of being ridiculed.
The Direct Method
Depending on the kind of person you are you may feel comfortable enough to try this approach. Maybe you’re even bold enough to tell your potential lover what your sexual fetishes are on the first date; though, if you were you probably wouldn’t be reading this post. However, if you’re not openly bold there are still ways in which you can be direct with your lover, without being direct. A good way to do this is to open up the playing field by asking your partner what their kinks are and when you do act as though nothing could ever shock you; this will allow them to feel less conscious about sharing their kinks. If you’re able to get a response out of them you should be willing to explore their desires as they’ll be more willing to explore the fetishes lurk in the back of your mind when the time comes. If their fetish is simply being handcuffed to the bed don’t jump straight into scat afterwards (if that’s your thing) maybe start off with something a little lighter.
The Work-In-Progress Method
This is probably the route the majority will take as it allows you to work up to the topic of sexual fetishes at a pace of your choosing. Bringing up your fantasies during sex is a good way to open up your partner’s mind as when we’re aroused we’re much more suggestive and willing to try new things.
Another way is to refer to others who may have part-taken in the kinks you share; even if they exist in the realm of fiction #50ShadesOfGrey. If your partner feels like you’re not the only person with a particular fantasy perhaps they’ll be more willing to experiment as it’ll seem more normal to them seeing as others have has similar thoughts.
Once your partner has agreed to play naughty don’t think that you have to reveal everything to them right away. If you love to dominate then perhaps you could start off by simply handcuffing your lover to the bedpost; over time you can introduce new, more daring props and before you know you’ll have your very own dungeon in the attic.
The Game Method
This method is sort of a mixture of the previous; this way you’ll be able to explore new realms of sex without it seeming as if anything was your idea. You could play a game where you both write various sexual acts on random pieces of paper and toss them into a hat. Each person then picks up one of shreds and reveals whether or not they’d love to try it, consider it, or no chance in hell. If you can, make sure to draw the most extreme card (even if you have to slightly rig the game) so when you tell your partner that you’d love to try it they’ll be more willing to come forward on their turn. The great thing about sex games is that even if your lover is disgusted by your revelations you can always play it off as a joke, and later on you could bring it up as if it’s something that has started to tickle your interest.
Sadly, there is still a stigma surrounding those that have what the masses may regard as an unusual fetish or fantasy. It is up to us to open up about our wants in the bedroom so that one day soon we can normalise the various things that turn us on. As long as our sexual fantasies are not hurting anybody, what’s the harm? The thing about sharing your kinks with your lover is that it can help increase the intimate aspect of your relationship as you’re able to explore things that you haven’t with others. Sharing secrets with the one you trust is a great way to showcase that you have something special but if you’re never able to share the things that turn you on most with your partner you’ll probably wind up with an unfulfilled sex life and who knows how that’ll end.